So, apparently I will never learn. If you had told me, when I was 19 and freshly dumped, that one relationship would define all of my 20s, I'd have laughed at you. But, somehow, that has happened. Or maybe not? I am exceptionally emotional today about this person. I usually don't give a shit. I think what has happened is that my ego is hurt. I wanted to do this my way, but it happened his way, and my ego cannot deal with it. But the end result is the same, right? Freedom from his baggage. Freedom from ending up with him. So then why do I feel like someone died? How habitual can you become of a person in two months? Apparently a lot. I cannot bear to look at my phone anymore. I want it to ring. I want to be apologised to. And then... what? I'll throw it all away, right? Because I don't want this. So then why can't I just take this right now? Ego can be soothed. Could it be that I have been lying to myself for eight years? I don't want this to be the tragedy of my youth. God, look at all these words. Could I be more dramatic? Look at my complete disregard of his very personal, very real tragedy. People have bigger problems. So, please stop. You're embarrassing me.
