Is lasagna code for something?

My best friend from school left the country this morning to live her (hopefully) happy married life. I’d known this was going to happen for years, but when she called this morning, half an hour before her flight was taking off, I wanted to cry. It could be because I’d just woken up from a night of 10-hour sleep after two sleepless nights, or because I hadn’t been able to talk to her properly for the last one week, but I think the real reason was that she was, simply, going so far away. Now when I go home I won’t be able to see her.

***

Speaking of home, I’m going to Jaipur day after tomorrow for the weekend for a friend’s wedding. It’s nothing to do with my stand on marriage anymore, but I think I’ve started to hate friends’ weddings because they’re taking away all my vacation days. I’m also a little worried about the parents’ reaction to a few things that I don’t want to think about right now, but won’t be able to escape there.

***

Work was, simply put, hell last week. It gave me flashbacks from my old job, and that is never a good thing. I spent some time trying to understand if it’s me, if I give out the doormat vibe sometimes, but I don’t think so. I will have to figure this out if I see a repeat of last week happening again, because there is a reason I quit my last job. And, as predicted, on a regular basis my work has tripled because I got a promotion. Can someone please give me tips on how to run a team and how to be a boss of, like, three people? I don’t feel equipped to handle this kind of responsibility.

***

I went out with my journalism school friends last week, and it was a nice chill dinner with a lot of grown-up talk, like marriage (duh) and grocery shopping. Two years ago we’d have laughed if one of us had suggested going to The Big Chill instead of having a low-key house party. Now, some of us are trying to quit cigarettes and some of us are trying to quit each other.

My best friend from back home was in town last weekend and stayed with me for a bit. Not only did we have an insane amount of fun, but she also cooked enough food for me to last three days. Which basically means that I am sorted till I go home, then when I go home my mother will send food, and I don’t have to cook anything for at least 10 days now. This is a blessing.

***

The way my day started, I’m not surprised I ended it by crying on the sofa while watching One Day on TV. If someone ever asks me to describe my 20s, I’d ask them to read this book. Please read it if you haven’t already.

***

The line in the title of this post was said in the context of The Boy, but what do I say about him that I haven’t already said in the last few years? I really, really hate being this cliché. 

30 days of Delhi

I spent my weekend watching three movies that I always avoid because they make me cry. Which is my way of saying that I spent my weekend crying. I seem to be some kind of a specialized masochist.

I’m finally settling down in the new routine of my new life, but I still miss my sabbatical immensely. The new house is very grown-up, and has almost everything. But that’s a reflection of how thoughtful my parents are. They were here the weekend I moved, and helped set up everything. Since then, I’ve been trying not to turn this into a pigsty, but there are days when it starts to resemble one. Every now and then, some or the other issue comes up, and I spend my days waiting for the repairmen to come and fix things. It’s not even a surprise anymore when they say that they’ll come at 11 and turn up at 4. I’m trying to say yes to most social invitations I receive, because I’m worried about going back to my old ways. But because of this, today is the first holiday where I didn’t have to go out or meet someone or do something. So far, I’ve met friends, went for dinners, watched movies and gone on one pub crawl. I also threw a little party at my place for friends from journalism school. It’s was fun, mostly. At least until I was left alone with just one of them and things went from bad to worse. I also met a blog friend recently, and it continues to amaze me how such great friendships started online because of my weird alter ego.

The most exceptional part of this entire month, however, has been the fact that I’m cooking. Or at least I’m trying to. Most days I am either too tired to cook, or too frustrated from my failed attempts to try again, so I order in. I now know a great place to order every kind of cuisine around my house. This is worrisome, and has to change. The other worrisome thing is how much money I seem to have spent in the last one month. I’m afraid to look at my bank statement because the number might give me a heart attack. I guess the scenes we thought were exaggerated for comic relief in chick flicks have some basis in reality, then. What am I spending all this money on, you ask. Oh, I don’t know. Dinners, birthday presents for colleagues, Secret Santa presents and Body Shop.

Work has been… interesting. I got my first scolding yesterday, but I shouldn’t have. Other than that, I’m still trying to find my place there. I spend all the time I’m awake in front of my laptop, so I’m getting very worried about my eyes. I may miss some things about my old job, but I don’t really miss it.

There’s still so much to do, so much of Delhi left to rediscover, but something’s amiss. I can’t figure out what it is. So until I can, I will continue to sit at home, and not change the channel when One Day, The Time Traveller’s Wife or Marley and Me comes on.

I woke up this morning drowning in existential angst – the kind I haven’t felt in a couple of months. Last night, in an attempt to distract myself, I poked the bear and got an earful in return. I had to hear (or read) things I didn’t want to, hurtful things that were dramatic but also a little true. And then I cried while watching Enough Said. When you’re sobbing through a romcom, you know shit is hitting the fan.

So this morning when I woke up, I was in a bad mood. But then I watched The Princess Diaries 2 on TV, which I don’t even like that much, but it’s Mia Thermopolis in some form, so it was fine. Then I watched The Hundred-Foot Journey, which a friend has raved about in the past. I loved it. It made me want to learn how to cook and live in a small French village (I know that I’ll hate that kind of life, but still). And then I watched Julie and Julia, which I’ve already seen some five times. I fell asleep in the middle of it and woke up hungry.

There are two kinds of movies that make me want the protagonist’s job – dance movies and chef movies. I love dancing and I hate cooking. But since I had no way of dancing today, I decided to cook. I told my mother I’ll make paneer tonight. She tried not to look too thrilled and jinx this turn of events. So I made paneer, the really basic kind. Just marinate it and shallow fry, no curry, nothing. But it was still cooking, it was still me spending 10 minutes in the kitchen, which is a progress from zero.

I’m watching this really average movie called This Is 40 right now, but overall it wasn’t a bad Sunday.