Although of course you end up becoming yourself*

Thirty-eight days since I’ve been jobless.

Contrary to what I’d thought, I’m not dying. I’m alive and thriving. In the last 38 days, I’ve thrown a bachelorette party, I’ve taken a vacation, I’ve started doing yoga, and I’ve broken someone’s heart. None of these things sound like they are about me, which is why I decided that I needed a new identity. A new blog, a new name, a new everything. Isn’t that what I’ve been trying to do – wiping the slate clean? And since that’s never going to happen in real life – refer post title – the least I can do is wipe my online slate clean. The previous blog had so much baggage that if it were a person it’d need two sessions of therapy daily.

I don’t know how much of a fresh start this is going to be. I could just as well fall back into old patterns and kill whatever is left of my spirit. But something tells me there’s a better chance of me making it through this time. And the narcissist that I am, even though I don’t feel like writing a lot these days, I want to document the whole process.

I’m re-reading The Sky Is Everywhere these days, and it’s making my heart sing. I’m also watching Californication for the first time, and it gives me so much hope for anyone who can’t seem to stop screwing up.

*Title credit goes directly to a friend and indirectly to David Lipsky.